If I left, how far inland would I have to drive to be safe? How hard would it be to find a motel that would take in my cat and I? How would my cat act all that time in the car? She gets very unhappy in just the five-mile drive to the vet.
The ordinance was written by and for the entrenched interests of downtown property owners, seeking to preserve their dominance in the short-term rental market, and hoteliers seeking to limit the growth of new, competing supply in a market where they are already concerned with over-building.
Theres a bit of schoolin that God-fearing folks in Cobb County and the rest of the nation should pay heed to as they cheer the creationist team in a federal lawsuit heard last month.
The legal spat, over a warning plastered in Cobb schools biology texts that evolution is merely a theory and not a fact, has the world press in a tizzy now that evangelicals are perceived as political 900-pound gorillas (probably not a great metaphor when talking about evolution).
Theres a lesson in the Cobb evolution brouhaha, one that should be important to every Christian. Its a gem from the earlier monkey trial, the 1925 drama that starred teacher John Scopes, who challenged Tennessees anti-evolution statute. The advocate for the religious side was William Jennings Bryan, one of the great men of principle in American history.
But, oh, heavens, Bryan was a died-in-the-wool liberal. He generally was described as a populist, but in the parlance of the late 19th century, that meant liberal. Bryan volunteered in the Spanish-American War; the experience turned him into a pacifist bitterly opposed to the nascent American imperialism.
As Woodrow Wilsons secretary of state, he jawboned the 30 leading world powers to agree to a one-year cooling-off period before going to war. Dubbed the Great Commoner, he castigated the capitalists as enemies of common folk. Among his most ardent allies in a 1896 presidential bid was American socialist leader Eugene V. Debs.
In short, Bryan was a man who would have earned the scorn of Karl Rove, Rush Limbaugh and Trent Lott. If he was reincarnated and ran today for a U.S. Senate seat in Georgia, Saxby Chambliss would air commercials putting Bryans mug alongside Saddams and Osamas -- just as he did to Max Cleland.
But hold on a minute. Bryan also was a fundamentalist Christian. At the Scopes trial, he thundered, I believe everything in the Bible should be accepted as it is given there. He was born again, he was an evangelical.
The nation, especially the South, bestowed great reverence on Bryan, who died a few months after the Scopes trial. Country balladeer Andrew Jenkins, a Georgia boy, sang these words in tribute: Oh, who will go and end this fight, oh, who will be the man?/To face the learned and mighty foe, and for the Bible stand?
Lets wind forward 79 years. Bob Jones III is president of the racist Bob Jones University in Greenville, a favorite haunt of George Bush. Jones, a storm trooper of the religious reich-wing vanguard that claims ownership of Bush, sternly admonished the president after the election, You owe the liberals nothing. They despise you because they despise your Christ. Ah, I get it. Bush & Co. own Christ.
The letter also underscores the message hammered home so successfully by the GOP during the recent campaign: Liberals despise Christ.
That is a lie. The example of William Jennings Bryan -- and millions of others -- makes clear that ultra-conservatives dont have an exclusive claim on Christ. Its time for Christians to start giving witness to that fact.
Ive warmed you up with some literary napalm. But what Im going to write next is the sort of thing journalists arent comfortable acknowledging. Here it goes ...
I testify that I am a Christian. I have been ever since I came forward at a Billy Graham revival when I was 8 years old. I later fell from grace and had some dark years Ill have to account for on Judgment Day.
My life did not turn around until, 14 years ago, I got down on my knees and prayed. I do that every day now. I prefer small churches to the show palaces; Christ said to pray in private. Ive felt called to be a minister, but I figure Id get to do less preaching than with this gig.
I dont pay heed to the false prophets such as Pat Robertson and Tim LaHaye of the Left Behind books, because Christ said to beware of charlatans claiming to know when He is coming again.
The rapture isnt in the Bible, so its not in my theology. I find it hard to conceive of Jesus returning to save a few smug Pharisees such as Jerry Falwell, while brutally slaying billions of my brothers and sisters. The heaven I believe in has ample room for all men and women of all faiths who seek God and try to live good lives.
In the Book of Matthew, Jesus said, Not everyone who saith Lord, Lord, shall enter the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father ... . He told us his Fathers will was to be meek; to be peacemakers; to take care of the weak, the poor, the afflicted; to sheathe the sword.
I believe there is truth in every word of the Bible, but as Bryan said during the Scopes trial, Some of the Bible is given illustratively. I also believe there is truth in other faiths scriptures, and I study them, too.
I believe the Ten Commandments have more impact if they are carved on our hearts than if they are hung in government buildings. I believe our leaders have broken one of those commandments by bearing false witness in concocting lies out of whole cloth that led us into war.
I believe that elective war is another word for murder, and war to grab other peoples oil is coveting and theft -- more broken commandments.
War is not a Christian value. Im a Methodist, and our literature clearly states, We believe war is incompatible with the teachings and example of Christ.
The neutron bomb in the values debate -- the device that allegedly sunk John Kerry -- was gay marriage. I dont have the answers to questions about gays. Jesus didnt say a word about homosexuality, but he did say love your neighbor. Thats enough for me.
What I do know is that gays dont threaten my marriage. The divorce rates are much higher in anti-gay Southern states than in gay-friendly Massachusetts and New York. Among Christians, the born-again variety has the highest incidence of divorce, according to a poll by Christian researcher George Barna. There are some lessons in those numbers.
The gay issue has been used solely to create fear and division, and as Jesus said, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation. Thank you, GOP legislators.
The reason, most agree, that divorce is higher here is because of the impoverishment of the South, much of it the result of Bushs enrich-the-already-rich economics.
For a final personal belief, I think Jesus was on the money when he said, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.
Pretty simple language.
John Sugg is a senior editor at Creative Loafing in Atlanta. To comment on this column, e-mail us