No way. Way. 

Can’t Possibly Be True

Two Park Vista High School girls who admitted that they swiped money off the table of a Girl Scout selling cookies at a supermarket in Boynton Beach, Fla., in January told WPBF-TV later that they had no remorse. Said one (on camera): “We went through all that effort to get (the money). We got all these charges (against us), and we had to give the money back. I’m kind of pissed.” Added the other, “I’m not sorry. I’m just pissed that I got caught.” The victim’s mother said that the girls returned to the supermarket the next day and taunted the little girl.

In February, a court in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, sentenced Briton Keith Brown, 43, to the standard four-year minimum term in prison for violating the country’s extreme “zero tolerance” drug laws, even though the only drug found was a “speck” (0.003 grams) of cannabis caught in the tread of his shoe and discovered only because the Dubai airport uses sophisticated drug-detection equipment. Previously, a Canadian man was imprisoned for “possession” of three poppy seeds (from a bread roll he had eaten at Heathrow Airport in London) that had fallen into his clothing as he prepared for a flight to Dubai.

Roy Chamberlin, 29, has been charged with 1,100 criminal counts in connection with what Pennsylvania police said was a series of nearly 200 rapes against a married woman in Potter Township (and had his first court hearing in January). According to the police report, the woman said she was too terrified ever to report the crimes to police or to her husband. Once, said the husband, he came home unexpectedly about 9 a.m. and found the bedroom door locked and a struggle occurring inside (hearing “Get off me!” and “You’re hurting me!”). After the husband pounded on the door, Chamberlin walked out, leaving the wife “crying hysterically and trembling.” However, the husband said that his wife declined to explain the situation and that he didn’t question her (not wanting to upset her further, since she had recently had surgery).


In January, Derry, N.H., Town Administrator Gary Stenhouse told Thomas Souhlaris that he’d have to move his sausage stand because he was trespassing on city property. Souhlaris had set up the stand at the town’s garbage transfer station, and Stenhouse said there might be municipal liability issues, especially if other food vendors followed Souhlaris and set up stands at the dump.

In January, Shafkat Munir, 26, was sentenced to 12 months in jail for an attempted hoax in Lancashire County, England, in 2007 after receiving three speeding tickets. Rather than pay the fines, totaling the equivalent of about $350 (and retain his license, since his record was otherwise clean), Munir created his own death certificate to get the charges dismissed. Said an official, “I have never known anyone to go to such lengths (over speeding tickets).” The judge also revoked Munir’s license.

Unclear on the Concept

On Nov. 30, for a social justice project at Cheektowaga Central High School (Buffalo, N.Y.), students spent an 18-degree night in cardboard boxes on the school’s lawn, in supposed solidarity with the area’s homeless population. According to a Buffalo News report, the suffering students brought DVD players to watch movies inside their boxes, ate donated Dunkin’ Donuts and pizzas, and ducked into the school’s heated gym whenever they got too cold or bored.

The Classic Middle Name (all new)

Arrested and awaiting trial for murder: Bobby Wayne Ledbetter, Northport, Ala. (February); Michael Wayne Adams, Fairfax County, Va. (February); David Wayne Cole, West Nottingham, Pa. (October). Confessed to murder: Calvin Wayne Inman, Houston (February). Sentenced for murder: Jerrell Wayne Stanley, Orange, Texas (October). Executed for murder: Michael Wayne Richard, Huntsville, Texas (September). Already serving time for other crimes but expected to be charged with as many as nine murders based on recent DNA evidence: Timothy Wayne Krajcir, Cape Girardeau, Mo. (January).

Names in the News

Arrested in October for vehicular assault in Tacoma, Wash. (after which he told a police officer that he had “definitely had a few”): Mr. Glen Alan Casebeer. The victim of a vehicular assault in McMinn County, Tenn., in January (in which his wife allegedly tried to run him over): Mr. King Money Tarzan Jenkins. Arrested for DUI near Burleson, Texas, in January (after crashing into a house): Mr. Bryan Scott Moron. Falsely accused of kidnapping a 17-year-old girl in Oshkosh, Wis., in November: a previously convicted sex offender, Mr. Pheuk Kue.

Creme de la Weird

In February, on “signing day,” when hundreds of highly recruited high school football players announced which colleges they would attend, lineman Kevin Hart of Fernley (Nev.) High School met local reporters with his coach at his side and dramatically chose the University of California over the University of Oregon. However, when the reporters called those colleges’ coaches for reactions, they learned that Hart had not been meaningfully recruited by either school, or any other prominent one. Hart explained two days later that he passionately wanted to play at a major school and that when no offer came, “I made up what I wanted to be reality.” Hart did not elaborate on what conceivable useful outcome he could have expected from the ruse.

When These People Vote, Theirs Count as Much as Yours

During the media hoopla on Feb. 5, about that day’s 24-state “Super Tuesday” “national primary” for president, enthusiastic voters called election offices for the addresses of their polling places so they could run down and vote: 400 called in Virginia (but its primary would be the following week); 1,000 called in Dallas (its primary would be a month later); “hundreds” called in Florida (its primary was the week before). At least six people were lined up to vote by 6:30 a.m. at one precinct in Milwaukee (Wisconsin’s primary would be two weeks later).

Recurring Themes

It’s not quite the 2006 News of the Weird story of the kindergarten-bound Broward County, Fla., boy diagnosed with gender identity disorder at age 5, but there will apparently still be steep problems for parents, teachers and students in Highlands Ranch, Colo., when a second-grade boy soon enters third grade as a girl. One student’s parent said there’ll surely be an issue of, “Why are you in a dress this year when you were in pants last year?” Among the school’s problems: building unisex restrooms and preventing bullying.

Thinning the Herd

A 39-year-old man fell to his death while trying to slide down a banister in the Hollywood & Highland Center mall in Los Angeles in January. And three more people died recently as a result of disrespecting railroad tracks: a 42-year-old man, hit by a train on tracks near Burlington, Ill., while listening to his iPod (September); a 31-year-old man, hit by a train in Berkeley, Calif., while talking on his cell phone (November); and another man, hit by a train in San Leandro, Calif., also while on his cell phone (December).


About The Author

Chuck Shepherd

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